if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
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my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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