so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
