FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
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He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
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Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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