She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
