I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
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so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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