Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
