If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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