Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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