Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
it's great music for shaving your balls
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
