I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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