I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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