you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
