Can i not drive my cunt home
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
