pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
