it hurts more in the daytime
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
