i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
