You're my little dorito
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
