Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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