Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
