This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
