dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I need a burrito and a hug.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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