I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
