So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
