Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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