I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
