HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
