I woke up to her vacumming the grass
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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