Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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