Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you traded sex for a burrito?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
