It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Come see our sink grown plant.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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