Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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