I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
