We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Randomize
