So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I looked at my own cervix.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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