You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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