You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
tell your sister to shave her snatch
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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