If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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