My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
birth control should be required to get into college
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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