turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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