just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
