So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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