Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
