I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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