There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
