Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize