I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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