No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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