Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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