Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
