so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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