we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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