so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
