Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
