you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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