Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
