I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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