no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
