just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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