I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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