I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
