Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
