i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize