I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
