In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
