It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
