Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
