Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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