i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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