I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Randomize
