If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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