i was born a porn star she said
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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