I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
