Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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