Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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